Neat pickup line.
“I bet you’d look sexy with my baby growing inside of you.”
- message from a guy on fetlife.
Have you ever had romantic feelings for someone, but refused to acknowledge it completely? Like, being in denial.
This may or may not be a rhetorical question. Depends on if anyone actually answers.
Analysis of dream.
To break up: Our relationship is evolving and growing to a different level. Although this change may scare me, this change can be good. Lately I’ve been feeling more secure in the relationship, and this feeling of security and domesticity has perhaps triggered anxiety.
To burn shoes is to destroy my low self-esteem.
During the car scene, I felt powerless and dominated, due to the car driving itself. I was also physically dominated by the man in all red (red: passion, impulsiveness, anger.) But, I was able to overcome this issue. I killed a part of myself that was filled with rage and immaturity, and I took control of where my life was heading.
My windows were temporarily rainy (my judgment clouded.) But in the dark, I was able to find the wipers. I was able to see clearly and rationally.
To continue to climb represents my determination, but also my struggles. I believe my dream here is a manifestation of my waking feelings for Cody. I was willing to undergo obstacles for him.
The house falling apart could represent personal change, and even a change in my beliefs or core values.
Being underwater and being able to breathe and not panic symbolizes how I feel comfortable being submerged in my emotions.
Restaurants symbolize feelings of being overwhelmed. Guns symbolize power and pride. They also could be a manifestation of my authority issues in my waking life, as well as my aggression. I could be feeling overwhelmed by certain feelings of anger and violence within my own self.
To see the number 25 means to stop dwelling on things and move on from the issue. I guess I am ready to move on from my passive-aggressive behavior!
To see myself in a hospital is to represent healing. Probably my needing to heal from my anger problems. The fact that the hospital was a playground, or a funhouse, suggests that I have already mentally moved on from the issue and am now able to laugh at myself.
Or the strange hospital could simply be my imagination having fun.
To see my grandmother is to see unconditional love. The woman marrying herself could be a part of me reaching self-acceptance.
To ingest poison, though, is to allow negative feelings into my being. The water I tried to drink was perhaps a symbol of me trying to feed myself more negative emotions to heal the initial problem. Which, of course, didn’t work.
——-
While this dream initially felt like a nightmare, analyzing it actually proves that it is a dream of self-growth, which is probably why I could remember it so vividly. Growing and changing is a scary process, which explains my feelings of anxiety throughout the dream.
Interesting, interesting.
Dream.
Dream:
Last night I had a dream that Cody and I broke up for some reason. I was very angry and passionate and stole his shoes. I then proceeded to set them on fire.
I was then in the backseat of a car with no driver. There was a guy dressed in all red sitting next to me. It was weird. He raped me, but he also felt weirdly gentle and caring. This confused me a lot. Even so, I pushed him out of the car onto the road and he died a bloody mess.
I then took control of the vehicle. It started raining and it was so dark it was very hard to turn on my wipers. I managed to do it, though, and the rain cleared up. I then found myself driving to my ex-boyfriend’s house. At this point I did a U-turn and went back home. On my way home, I saw the guy I murdered on the road, still. Police and ambulances were taking him away.
I drove to Cody’s house then, to see if we could work things out. I tried climbing up to the second story window to his room, but it continued to get higher up and there were obstacles in the way. The house was falling apart and I could barely reach him. I got to him though, finally. He really wanted to talk to me, too, but all these people were in our way pushing us apart from each other.
We finally got to each other though, and we were under water for a few minutes, in complete silence. It felt sweet, but also strangely sad.
Cody and I were then at a restaurant. A man came up to us and gave us $25. He then said sorry. He left the place, and came back with a gun and killed several people in the restaurant. Cody and I got out of there and went to the hospital.
The hospital was very huge and playground-like.
Then I was at my grandma’s apartment. A woman was getting married there. She was marrying herself. I was really sad and angry about this and drank poison. I regretted drinking poison so I tried to drink water, but the water was poison, too. So I called a bunch of religious lunatics to purify me.
I don’t remember anything else.
